In 1923 Kahlil Gibran published a book called ‘The Prophet’. There is a section I like in which the prophet talks to the people about giving.
“And there are those who have little and give it all.
These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty.
There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.
And there are those who give with pain and that pain is their baptism.
And there are those who give and know not pain in giving nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;
They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space.
Through the hands of such as these God speaks and from behind their eyes, He smiles upon the earth.”
His words give three categories of ‘givers’. He makes perfect sense to me. Not just are they beautifully put, but they explain much of what I see and experience. I know two families who fit the first category part perfectly: the Valentines in Washington and the Sagabins in Utah. Both families have been on life’s worst roller coasters. They have both had a lot of money and they have lost a lot of money: even to the point of doubting whether they would have enough to eat and keep their homes.
But they hide their troubles and always welcomed anyone who came to them and shared anything they had. Kids loved to go to their homes because they were ‘cool’. They seemed willing to “give it all.” And yes they were “the believers in life and their coffer was never empty.” At times it seemed to take a miracle to keep them afloat.
I do a poor job of modeling my life after them. I desperately hold on to my secure job. They would pick up jobs and projects like others change clothes. I will never believe in the bounty of life to the same extent they do. But at least I can see how life can work that way.
In the second category, I have close married friends. The woman is a ‘give with joy, and that joy is their reward’ person. He is a ‘give with pain and that pain is their baptism’ person. I fit midway between the joy and pain categories, so I can understand their continual struggles with each others way of doing life.
I can understand his pain in giving. Together they are raising eight children from various previous marriages. So he is very careful make sure that everything is paid for. Self sufficiency is very important to him. When money is spent which he needs to pay for basics, it drives him crazy and causes problems and pain. While she hardly considers the basics and gives easily to help anyone she meets. She’s always happy to help even when it means spending a lot of time and money they can hardly afford. The joy she brings through her efforts to help is all the reward she ever wants. And it’s all the pain he can handle.
The joy is her reward and the pain is his baptism. It’s his baptism because deep inside he knows her giving is good; even for him. This pulls him up from trusting in life to trusting in goodness and God.
I don’t have much experience with the last category: those who give as part of their very nature; like myrtle. These are the greatest among us. Gandhi, Mother Teresa, and Jesus of course. But in a small way I have seen the ‘myrtle breathes its fragrance’ function. My mother is very kind and sweet. She is among the most patient people alive. All who meet her are quickly drawn close to her. (It drives my dad crazy) People just loved her. (She remains friendly to ex-wives of her children.)
What’s so interesting is how people change the instant they come in contact with her. It’s nothing short of amazing. I watched once, as she was cleaning up a mess caused by vandals in a rental my parents owned. The kids who did it came to see. Shortly after talking to her, touched by her sweetness, they were helping clean and repair the damage. My mother wasn’t trying to ‘give’ anything and she didn’t ask their help. They wanted her approval. In this case she didn’t seek joy nor experience pain. She simply was herself. Her very presence was a gift to these kids. She exudes a spiritual myrtle and brings out the finest in people.
It’s fun to give. It’s interesting to see how people handle gifts. One friend of mine has a rich boy friend. He is always trying to solve her problems with money. She is always pushing him and his gifts away to keep her independence. Accepting his gifts is so hard for her. Accepting gifts is her baptism.
Giving is a major part of God’s nature. He created us so giving is a major part of our nature. So give for joy, give in pain until the joy and pain both fade and are forgotten. Then the highest giving will begin. Miracles will follow as they did Jesus and Peter. Live to give and your giving will live. Life will give back. It’s a true spiritual principal.